The Possibilities

I am still disturbed these few days on my condition right after I went to meet my Gynae at JB.

The story begins when he told me that I might have possibilities of having another c-sect if the baby's head isnt engaged this time. He doesnt mind me to have a normal birth as long as the baby's head fits my pelvis. Well, since I already have a positive mind to have a normal birth as simple and natural as it can be, sedikit sebanyak, this issue is really disturbing me.

So, I went to the VBAC group in the FB and started to ask few experts and mommies on my condition. Most of them believed that it is nonsense that the baby's head cannot fit a mommy's pelvis and so on. But on the other hand, being me who likes to make things complicated, I'm already worried on so much possibilities. What if the baby halfway stuck there, what if my pelvis that God created special for me is really small, what if the baby's shoulder is broken though I successfully VBAC, the what if continues...

Husband and Mom dont really like the idea of not agreeing what's the gynae has said. And a statement which one of the mommy's that I have read where there are cases where the baby is big and the mother's pelvic is small, both could die, really disturbing. So here I am, stucked in the middle to believe or not to believe. How I really wish that I could have a natural birth so that I can have skin on skin with the baby and a bonding session with husband and baby right after that.

Or maybe I can ask a gynae friend, my another gynae in KL (you know right I have two), and some other experts opinions. And as of now, what should I do the most is leave it to Allah to decide for me. C-sect or normal or natural birth is just the options that I could have.

Kita hanya merancang, tapi Allah yang menentukan.