His first super bad tantrum

Aidan just threw his tantrum, the worst one that I have ever encountered, just now. It happened when he wanted to follow his Abah to work after lunch. He was crying loudly, non stop for almost 15mins with some actions of protest.

At the beginning, when Abah left, he was crying until he vomited a bit in front of the door. Okay. Fine. I was okay with it, hoping that he will stop crying after that. That is what usually happened. Unfortunately not for this time. He continued to cry while hitting his hand at the door. That is menguji kesabaran saya sedikit. So I hold him inside. He still crying and shouting "Abah..Abah" sambil baring dan pukul lantai using his hands pulak. So I just sit on the sofa and ignore him. Then, he suddenly got up and walked to the door again, pukul pintu, shouting, still crying loudly, ambil alas kaki dan cuba pukul pintu guna alas kaki. I asked him to put it down but he refused. To show his protest, he tried to throw the door mat to me. Ok. That is not acceptable! Seriously I got mad and put him at the corner for punishment. Time out for 5 mins. Luckily, he stand still at the corner though still crying loudly. I know he scared. He didnt even dare to look at me. Oh man, I feel like crying too when I saw that. I restraint myself to pujuk nor hold him tightly for a while. I just want him to know that he is not right so he got punished. But deep inside my heart, I want to cry with him. Ya Allah, dugaan betul to deal with this kind of tantrum.

After 5 mins, when his crying getting slower, I called him. Then, he continued crying again while coming towards me. He said "Sowi" dan salam my hands. Sumpah I almost cry that time. We were holding each other tightly for a while before I whispered to him not to do it again. Then, he asked for susu and sleep. Safe and sound. Phewww..

What a day!

How to raise a child?

I always wonder what is the best way to raise a child? I always keep on asking myself, is this right? Is this good?

Aidan is in the midst of duplicating whatever that he likes. I noticed it during hari raya break when we were at kampung. He likes to duplicate whatever his big cousin do. When his big cousin jumped, he would jump. When big cousin spit, he would spit too. He even talked a lot more new vocabs like "Jom", "Adam", "Dirty" and etc during the week. Thus, I can foresee the peer pressure when we send him to school next year. Sangat mendebarkan.

His big cousin and the brother always threw tantrum during the week sampai saya rasa kesian with SIL and the husband. Like seriously. When I looked how toddlers can be when they were throwing tantrum, saya terus bersyukur dan rasa Aidan is a very good boy. Bukan nak puji (walaupun puji sikit) tapi Aidan memang jarang mengamuk. Kalau menangis pun kejap je. Kalau dia marah pun, tak ada sampai guling-guling hentak kaki atas lantai. For the time being tak pernah terjadi. Alhamdulillah. Sebab tu saya terfikir, kenapa some toddlers suka mengamuk? What went wrong? Apa cara yang terbaik? Apa yang betul? Am I doing the right one?

Some people said, ikut kata hati. Tapi kalau kata hati salah macamana? Kalau tersalah, susah nak patah balik atau mungkin tak dapat nak patah balik terus. Hah. That is the scariest thought that I ever had.

Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin. :)

4am in the morning

Hubby woke me up at 2am and now, I am still wide awake. Heh. Done with sahur in case we tertidur balik.
I am too gigih typing this on blogger apps. Seems cool. But not sure with the outcome.
We are planning to held a small birthday party with close family tonite. Soon to be two boy has been practising singing Happy Birthday song and blowing an imaginary candle since last night. Haha. Cant wait for the real one. My cheeky darling baby is a big boy now. Sobsss.
Will update on the birthday later.

Guilty Charge!

This month closing period is a bit tough for me. I had just moved to another role, handling a bigger country. Few months back, my predecessor always told me that I need to come to office as early as 8.30-9.00am on every WD3 (today is the day for example). Well, knowing me who likes to feed my darling baby his breakfast myself and put him to shower before we off to the babysitter, coming to office at that time is a bit impossible. This lil boy has a hard time to wake up early even though he sleeps at 10pm. Memang kuat tidur anak aku.

So, this month when I'm officially have started my new role, I already planned earlier that I just woke up early for sahur and quickly starts doing my work. And so here am I, doing my work while blogging and melayan this lil boy with pounding head since 5am. Great. Everything happens today. Luckily, this cheeky boy doesnt really disturb me except for asking for air, yoghurt, sing along with him, etc. Still acceptable. Kalau tak mahu saya bertukar jadi raksasa hijau!

I felt so guilty last night. I got really mad at Aidan till I said "I dont want to sleep with you!" and out to the living room just because he threw my handphone under the bed. Sebab susah nak ambil and hubby didnt really want to help me initially, I just got so frustrated. So then, I scolded him. He didnt cry neither dare to look at me. He just lie down still. After like 10 mins in the living room, then I got into the room and tried to get my handphone again. Luckily, this time, hubby helped me. Then, I got my handphone back and felt really guilty of scolding him badly. Sigh. I'm always a bad mother. Dah laa before sleep Abah scolded him sebab tak mahu makan ubat. Sigh. Sigh. He must be so sad last night.

I had pujuk Aidan right after that. I hug him and he hug me too. I said sorry and he said "sowi" too. *Tears* Then, we slept while hugging each other. And I just love to sleep in the middle between Abah and Aidan coz I've been cuddle by my two fav boys. Blissss. :)

Love

Saya bosan. Bosan dengan rutin harian akhir-akhir ini. I feel like I've been doing the same, boring routine every single day for ages. Like early morning, bangun, masak, kemas rumah, hantar Aidan, pergi kerja (buat benda sama/similar for the past 5 years), balik kerja, masak, lepak kejap, tidur. Itulah hidup seindah biasa saya. Maka saya bosan. 

We've been talking to migrate these few months but not much actions taken. But thinking of the new life, new environment, new job, and new place, somehow makes us excited much. Only if applying jobs abroad and migrating are easy, that would be great. Moga Allah izinkan dan permudahkan. 

"But love, I've come to understand, is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day." The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks

Don't you love those words from Nicholas Sparks? Well being married for few years, sometimes I tend to forget to appreciate on little things that he did, I dont really say sorry coz I thought that was just one small incident, or maybe I was too busy with the commitments and responsibilities that I have. But then, only I realized that marriage is not just responsibilities, respect, and devotion. It's the union of two love. So that it requires both souls to fall in love again and again.

Afterall, we are human. Tak pernah lari dari buat salah. Kalau salah jangan takut. Masih ada ruang untuk dibaiki. At least I'm lucky coz hubby and me talk on every single thing, either big or small. With that at least we know where has gone wrong. I pray that the love that we build diredhai Allah sentiasa.

Tuhan Jagakan Dia

I don't listen to any Malay Radio for quite sometimes. So I have no idea when hubby asked me whether I know this song or not. Then, he dedicated this song to me. I almost cried when I first hear it. Rasa macam dapat the 1st lagu time bercinta dulu. *tears*

Anyway, thank you sayang. You've made my day beautifully :) I love you too banyak-banyak.

Tuhan Jagakan Dia by Motif


hanya dirimu yang ku cinta
takkan membuat aku jatuh cinta lagi
aku merasa kau yang terbaik untuk diriku

walau ku tahu kau tak sempurna
takkan membuat aku jauh darimu
apa adanya ku kan tetap setia kepadamu

Tuhan jagakan dia
dia kekasihku ‘kan tetap milikku
aku sungguh mencintai
sungguh menyayangi setulus hatiku

walau ku tahu kau takkan sempurna
takkan membuat aku jauh darimu
apa adanya ku kan tetap setia kepadamu

Tuhan jagakan dia
dia kekasihku ‘kan tetap milikku
aku sungguh mencintai
sungguh menyayangi setulus hatiku

Tuhan jagakan dia
dia kekasihku ‘kan tetap milikku
aku sungguh mencintai
sungguh menyayangi setulus hatiku

Tuhan jagakan dia
dia kekasihku ‘kan tetap milikku
aku sungguh sungguh mencintai
sungguh menyayangi setulus hatiku

Another Random Day

Mengiron selonggok baju itu adalah satu penyiksaan (buat saya). Lihatlah. T____T

Boleh histeria tengok baju selonggok macam ni. 

Inilah aktiviti bulanan saya ok. Setiap kali kena iron baju selonggok, rasa nak tarik-tarik rambut sendiri. Heh. At least 3 jam nak kena iron. Lama gile. Kalau buka kedai dobi mesti berjaya. Ini semua sebab baju encik suami yang susah nak licinlah. Apalagi kan. Terutama brand Padini. Saya selalu berharap semua baju suami adalah brand G2000. Boleh jimat masa sejam. Hehe. Jadi, ibu-ibu dan isteri-isteri, ingat ya. Jangan beli brand Padini kalau tak mahu diri sengsara. 

So how's your Ramadhan going? Saya rasa sangat best berbanding tahun-tahun yang sebelumnya. Tahun ini rasa lebih tenang. Lebih-lebih lagi bila 3-4 hari yang lepas saya ada sedikit murung. Biasalah hidup mesti ada cabaran dan dugaannya. Moga Allah terus beri ketenangan jiwa kepada saya. InsyaAllah.

Tahun ni ada azam Ramadhan. Eceh.

1) Tak mahu tidur lepas sahur.
2) Nak selalu masak for iftar walaupun on weekdays.
3) Terawikh berjemaah dengan suami.

As of now masih berjaya. Tapi harini macam ada ngantuk2 sikit. Huhu. Bertahan Yuli bertahan! Terawikh juga masih on walaupun mencabar. Budak kecik tulah. Saja cari pasal. Time kami sembahyang tu lah dia nak park walker truck die depan sejadah, naik belakang Abah time nak sujud, duduk atas riba Abah time duduk antara dua sujud, dan macam-macam lagilah. Yang paling best, dia ketuk kepala Abah dengan cast kaki dia yang kitorang dah bukak. Sumpah tak boleh tahan gelak time tu. Dah laa dah rakaat terakhir, tinggal nak bagi salam saja. Sabar jelah anak oi! Hehe. Itulah dia ragam budak kecik ketika Ramadhan.

Selamat menyambut Ramadhan semua. :)